Jia说:别揪猫尾巴

某日还有某日截图日记

THE DAY I DIE WAS THE BEST DAY IN MY LIFE
TELL ME FRIENDS MY KIDS MY WIFE 
EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT

有这么一类人是在研究命理 玄学 占星 不得不说 真是是一门很大的学问 竟然能分析的如此透彻
即便从来没见过 甚至不知男女 只是简单的知道你的生辰 到底是怎么做到的 在有这样一番了解前 必将是一群经历无数的人 这些人比常人更接近于造物主么 突然觉得自己被赤裸裸的铺开了 即便不表达 也被看的透透的 更让人疑惑的是 竟然有比我自己还了解我自己的人 那我又算什么呢... ...

小M工作要求 要调到日本出差个月 临行前千叮咛万嘱咐 带回单子上所列一切 MUJI一次性相机太想要了 看着就特别可爱 对那些简洁的东西 实在无法抵挡 简约设计才是王道 简单的东西才是真理 生活也是如此 感情亦然

陈老师离职了 我很喜欢她 总觉得世事很玄妙 有能力的人总是无法得到 那些唯唯诺诺 靠别人活的人反而很坦荡 太可笑了 付出一切 却发现都是白费 那心情要怎么形容呢 MAX说 好像是把心放在甩干机里一样 想想看 真的很痛 被晃碎了 粉碎

WY说如果她没结婚 没有小孩 就可以一天到晚和我疯了 这个二百五 和我一样的性格 一类人 嘴里说的永远不是心里想的 其实你很感激自己有了老公和孩子吧 不要装作不在意 其实很幸福 好羡慕...

 

 

 

 

让自己放松下来 对任何事物都抱着平淡的心去看 调节自己的心情 积极的面对生活 减法生活不只是生活习惯上的总结 也要从心理上得到释放 工作再忙 也要抽出时间调剂 心情再差 也要时常微笑 珍惜眼前 不要轻易放弃 跳出来看 也许若干年后 会觉得自己做出的某些欠思考 冲动的做法很傻X 现在每天给自己留出时间听三张没听过的专辑 一点都不觉得无聊 反而很开心 以前的我 只会觉得这是没事找事 很无聊的消耗时间 现在反而觉得是一种放松的方式 很享受 细心从小事中得到快乐 当然该有原则的东西一定不能妥协 要勇敢的出拳 二十五岁 我已经在最后阶段向你冲刺了 9月的誓言我在一一实现着 积极的争取属于9月的一切

每场雨过后都会凉一些 告别酷暑夏日 迎来萧瑟的秋

凉快还是凄凉 这季节真的很难评定

9月是适合悲伤的季节 是天平的开篇季节 但也是瓜果丰收的季节

说他悲其实也有点不公平

悲也有很多种 撕心裂肺地动山摇的悲不适合这个9月

华丽一笑而过潜藏内心的瑟瑟悲伤 这季节 这温度 这风 这天空

 

贴心的奶奶爷爷 在你们心里 永远要是孙子没心没肺嘻嘻哈哈的形象

绝不能加入一丝的秋的影子

这光辉形象永不倒 被当成男孩子养大的二孙女儿

即便秋的凄凉 也丝毫无法动摇

我是那么的喜欢你们 喜欢的能哭出来

有你们的秋不凄凉 很凉快

永远和我一起吧

我带你们去逮虫子 带你们去挖野菜

你俩是我见过的最好的老头儿 老太太

 

2009.08.27 永远无法逾越的鸿沟

不是不想穿高跟鞋 是穿了没办法开车 本来就不想开 懒得动 考虑弄套牌吧 要不就随时带着驾照！不要总是踩我 要不就跟我保持距离...托福 发现了购买原版二手书籍和绝版书籍的好地方 真的很便宜 PAVILION OF WOMEN 一个墨守陈规的传统女子 人约中年后 终于打破传统束缚 找寻自我的故事 女人的故事 倡导女权的故事 我会好好读 泛黄的纸张 旧书发霉的味道 想起了图书馆 挺好 不管如何说要挑战 还是有些东西无法超越 比如豆汁 是发自内心的不想去接受 任性了点 不过 今天到是见识到实物了 闻了闻 无比恶心 朋友 你这面真是彻底颠覆形象啊 不过到是觉得很自然 二环某电影院 白银帝国看的我还是有点懵 不过 感觉好像包场啊 一片空旷 很舒服 很随意 不管是哪里 博物馆也好 电影院也好 街巷也好 总是喜欢人少的地方 让人很放松

 

从内心无止境的排斥 躲闪 永远无法逾越的鸿沟 胆小 懦弱 犹豫不决 毫无疑问的窝囊废
我败给了你，豆汁！

 

2009.08.25

靠谱与不靠谱之间

念叨了两个月的国家动物博物馆计划终于在今天实施了 并且很圆满的完成 后面让人领悟一线之差的百货商品批发市场如此惊艳 让人很是吃惊 看电影 院线的选择十分重要 某三环高危地区影院差强人意 选择国家院线才是王道 国家密案 STATE OF PLAY 最终根源解释让我很难接受 一部算计的电影 结局竟是一个神经患者的自我空间造成的 不免虎头蛇尾了 10月走个远的 这话我记住了 反正是介于靠谱与不靠谱之间 期待下次活动 如果是EUR不就是欧元了么 就差一个字母 还有A4纸我收下了 有个问题 蝴蝶的翅膀花纹全都是对称的么 有没有不对称的

这人都是怎么了 都各种的由着性子来 还有没有个社会人的概念啊 别把自己当个局外人 你天生不是一石头子儿 不是搁路边儿 没人理的那种 真不是那一粒砂 你到也想 但是偏偏造物弄人 一来到这世界就是一多细胞身份 不巧还是高级哺乳动物 有思想 有义务 有责任 别觉得自己做什么跟其他人都没关系 你真错啦 所有事情都是相互有关联的 不是讨论哲学 这东西根本找不到头儿 本身就是矛盾组成的 那还有什么可说的呢 唉 一时间激动 发点牢骚 认错 都得认错 我也认错 低头认错 笑着认错

We're just two lost souls swimming in the fish bowl,year after year---Pink Froyd WISH YOU WERE HERE一直很喜欢这首歌 这句词 在我的BLOG里出现过多次 想想 两尾鱼在球缸中相互追逐转圈 永远也无法逃离这层玻璃壁 两尾封存的灵魂无论如何努力 总是又回到原点 这词只有有经历的人才能写出来吧 好歌永远是有经历的人写给有经历的人的 其他：随便记录一下 刚答应了如果手链好 就送一只作为礼物 现在没有了 找找看吧 很喜欢皮质的东西 很有质感 点缀的金属部分让整体不枯燥 低调而不俗 喜欢的东西 总是很难得到

fucker i cant say anything about this situation,well just follow your own mind ,if you thought its right just go ahead.but remember its your choice,if shits coming ,like a man face all of it .you are loyal i do believe.
this saturday back square world? cool but hard to believe you even wanna back to the square,how come taiwan trade you like this make you wanna run away haha
well when you settle down just let me know . time to V-I-S-I-T!!!
this sign is the best one i ever got!!!

自己的时间很多了　不像以前　时间都给了别人　虽然生活没有那么多惊奇　但还好吧　平平淡淡的　可以有时间用心去感觉周围的一切　身边万物都是有感情的　他没有生命么？只是没有用心去看　每一首歌　每一个旋律　都讲着自己的经历　述说自己的感情　用心去听　可以感觉到强烈的共鸣　生活都在你的身边　开始理解生命的意义　理解父母的苦心　开始知道宽容与释然　面对一切顺与不顺　都很淡然的对待　转眼逝去　都是浮云　浑浑噩噩没有方向　突如其来的孤独感　这些悲伤的情怀说到最后不过是自己内心对自己的怜悯　自己对自己的同情　软弱才是根本的源头　想要生活　就要强大　这种强大不是掠夺　不是欺占　不是盛气凌人　而是内心的坚强

这是好的开始 6月5演出完毕后 同肉丸走了一个兄弟川菜 号称是庆祝 118的水平吃的我真是一个不亦乐乎 吃完后 习惯性的要发票  习惯性的报抬头 习惯性的刮奖区 不习惯的发现自己中了500块！！！天啊 地啊 长这么大 第一次中奖达到500 不错  不错 当然 比起那些中500万的 我真是太容易满足了 看看 自己纳税 也督促别人纳税的好市民总会有回报的 童鞋们 以后吃饭记得开发票 奖区永远都向你敞开 放个肉丸演出照片吧 我真是特别喜欢这张 就因为那个光直直的打在了肉丸身上 对比明显 中奖的证据 怎么感觉就是那么幸福呢 唉 小市民永远是小市民 上不了台面 算了 让我自生自灭吧 麦当劳早晨派发免费咖啡 黑咖啡真是一剂妙药 谢谢阅读

 

端午节就这么过了 感觉没有一样 假期真是不够用 肉丸去天津演出了 自己玩儿开心就好了 今天就回来了吧 估计还得最后折腾一下 给天津人留个深刻印象 肉丸不在家 彻底的来了个大扫除 有日子没有打扫屋子能出一身汗的时候了 收拾完了 看着还真是很舒服 宽敞多了 也干净不少 但这劳动成果只能保留那么一晚 一回来就都恢复原状啦 呵呵 估计看着应该挺亲切  肉丸凌晨4点来的电话 听声音是玩美了 喝美了 生是让所有人都和我通话 真是服了 好好开心开心吧 我都能感受到他们的快乐了 几个老爷们儿走了个火锅 当然 少不了喝酒  

 

上班觉得还挺无聊的 想来想去 给人家打工就是一个忍辱负重 不要脸的事情 对啊 老板说了 你不听 凭什么给你升职加薪 这道理说白了 谁都懂 但就是有那不把王法放在眼里的 算了 活该你自找 呵呵 先痛快了自己 以后慢慢说吧 首次和老爸聊了点心事 估计他发觉到我的变化了 毕竟很多东西要自己去面对么 又加上我这种脾气和性格 呵呵 适当的磨合磨合吧  说点应景的 肉丸说要组织自驾去海边 举双手赞成 赶紧吧 还得带上帐篷和烧烤架

 

还有 前阵子衣着很隆重的参加了肉丸表弟的婚礼 算是把叔叔这边的一家子给数清楚了 爷爷都90了 但感觉还是很精神 果然是老革命 再之前的天下第一城 香河之行是数清楚了阿姨那边的一家子 好多好多亲戚啊 好多好多人 照片都哪里去了 反正不再我这里

 

这东西真是很难喝 芦笋不是蔬菜么 为什么芦笋汁喝起来像和淡了了的糖浆 EHHHHHHHH 这个难喝 对于我没事就拍照的习惯 肉丸只能当空气 难为你了 <3

 

 

 

 

第四次来到青岛了 出差多发地 也是人生中充满记忆的城市 来到这里 我只是想到你 什么时候一起回到那些个地方呢 我们想的一样么？很期待 图片一点点 意思一下吧一起去海边吧 好像有条自己的小艇 躺在船头 脱光了 晒太阳 就在海面上漂着 几天的回忆 几天的生鲜 几天的思念

那牙齿真不是故意的 对他们的肆无忌惮表示歉意 一鞠躬

这台相机我很满意  可以考虑一把 主要是光太好了 青岛街头潮人街拍 有范儿没范儿自己体会

这地方 我们一起再去吧 啤酒 沙滩 阳光 太多回忆

 

 

2009MIDI 我们来了 北京南站出发前的等待 肉丸和堆成山的行李和设备 后面的小朋友对肉丸很感兴趣的样子

上海的麻辣小龙虾 皮皮虾 螃蟹 那螃蟹太好了 每只都有黄 真是MMMMM

6个人+5斤小龙虾 +2斤皮皮虾+6只螃蟹+130块的烤串

+6只生蚝+2只北极贝+2只扇贝+无数啤酒=600多大元+6个圆肚子

真是首次吃龙虾吃饱了 

酒足饭饱后 开始在大街上犯250

第二天去了一家琴行 给肉丸买贝司弦 后来是造访了上海HM 和 一家射击场

这把琴感觉已经完全和我融为一体了 隐身了一样 千手观音摇滚版

育音堂当晚的商品区 我就是那个MERCH  但是全程我创造了千元成绩 哈哈哈】

肉丸和我跟CARL 来自挪威的TURDUS MUSICUS的片儿 还是我照的比较好看

光掌握的多好啊！

和肉丸单走了一个鸡公煲 真是不错啊

大家在从上海去镇江的大巴上

下午2点的演出 由于高速公路上接连不断的交通事故 我们1：55才到达演出现场 拿着行李冲上了舞台

时间虽然很赶 但是MIDI的热情还是是没有让我们失望 观众也都很专业

ARMY OF FRESHMEN 的BASS KAI 真的是特别特别可爱的一个人

最后是大合影

旅途虽然短暂 但回忆无限 几张图片根本无法表达我们的心情 感谢身边支持我们的朋友 希望我们的图片资讯能给你们带来些许的快乐

希望能与你们分享TOOKOO乐队在路上的美好愿景 MIDI 明年见 我们会在舞台上屹立不倒

WE ARE LIKE TWO LOST SOUL SWIMMING IN A FISHING BOW YEAR AFTER YEAR 又让我想到了这句话 不记得何时何地 我看到了他 两个在鱼缸中绕圈的遗失的灵魂 不曾想过PINK FROYD为什么会写出这么伤感的词句 每当心中出现这句话的时候 都会微微颤一下 深深地倒吸口气 4月过去了 5月来了 开始重新去看生活 眼睛看到的都是幻想 要用心去感受 拂去表象 我想知道的是真实的东西 最深最深的 别人看不到的 我想知道 努力的探求 去发现

每个人都有自己的故事 自己的选择 当产生某种奇妙的关系时 你会发现千丝万缕的联系 好比你在超市买东西 你选择了一个苹果 如果细细去想 你就与种植苹果的果农 收购苹果的果商 分销苹果的代理商有了某种潜在的关系 我们每个人身上都有着这种感觉不到 但是确实存在的关系 细想 一个社会人 即便想如何的按照自己的方式 过自己想要的生活 不想与任何人掺和在一起 可是这是由不得自己的 当你没有选择的降临到这个世界上 就已经被打上了标签 就注定有了一些微妙的关系 摆脱不了 也不可能摆脱 不想把大学时代的哲学搬到这里来摆弄 这玩意儿真不是普通人能说明白的 很混乱 根本说不清楚 也择不干净  FINE...ANYWAY LIFE IS NOT LIKE WHAT YOU THINK CAN BE THAT PERFECT OR WHATEVER.ITS FAIR TO ANYONE ONLY CUZ WHAT YOU CHOOSE FOR YOURSELF.JUST LIKE WHAT WE SAY "TO BE OR NOT TO BE" , FAIR ENOUGH RIGHT? YOU WANNA BE ALONE,YOU WANNA BE LIVING WITH A MASK OR TO BE HAPPY OR BLEH BLEH ALL BULLSHIT.

算了 我也不知道干嘛 消磨时间么 随便写点 听说HM已经开了 我必须得去看看吧 到了北京了 以后就不用动不动把上海放嘴上了 给HM上个片儿吧 也算是公德圆满了

首先是OLIVER的排练 说实话 基本次次都在 就是没留下过什么片儿

这发型是就叫EMO么 EMO的代价就是没办法走路 都给盖上了啊

我们是住在鼓楼了么 基本天天都在啊 我真有点恶心了 小黑和小白在看老外 还是刚从厕所出来的

肉丸在车上被灿烂的阳光晃了 表情十分不爽 不爽啊 不爽啊

这个蓝莓芝士蛋糕不错 但是比上BRIDGE的真还相差一点距离 当然苹果派永远是NO 1

不过看在照片拍的他如此美味的份上 让他露个脸 上个片儿

开车去了奥林匹克公园 太高级了 真是四通八达啊 天上好多好多风筝

地上好多好多私家车 经典的是 你真可以随便停 不用考虑任何交通信号 还有 嘉年华也开了 就是人多的惊人

北京污染的根源 看图就明白了

Hello Jia!!!!!How’s it going?!
Very well hopefully....

I must apologise for the huge delay in writing a massive email like I used to enjoy doing.....I say used to because I've become disillusioned with 'keeping in touch' thanks to fucking facebook...one sentence 'wall postings' are taking over actually keeping in touch. i don't apply that remark to you but I just got so angry with life that I stopped writing and became insular.......but here I am, still alive(unfortunately for a huge percentage of the world) and still trying to provoke(laughter of course) and infuriate..........in equal measure.

Finally.................the book arrives after almost 5 months in Taiwan

The book however is not exactly a positive look into my life here on the 'small island next to China'.

Ill begin at the beginning...start at the beginning.....its is pretty much the same

I flew to Taiwan from England on Sunday October 5th.....an evening flight. In January 2007 I undertook a similar journey to work for a year in South Korea....I felt more empty this time going to Taiwan though...a 16 hour flight via Bangkok to Taipei. I was fucking angry getting on the flight as I had to take a lot of stuff out of my bag so it complied with weight restrictions....if I had paid for the extra baggage weight, the total cost would have been more than the 400 pounds I paid for the one way ticket...a one way ticket to a savage land......'this is going to be like Korea' I thought as I boarded the plane........rubbish grey architecture, annoyingly forward girls and dreadful cuntish foreigners behaving like kings of the island, despite being absolute nobodies back home......I hadn't felt Taiwan was going to be like Korea before this moment. Id had visions of Japan and China mixed. The modern aspect of Japan coupled with the wild west atmosphere of China-both had been hugely welcoming after the depression of Korea....I always say to people, the best things about Korea, besides a few good Korean people I met there, samgyupsal and Cass red beer, were David, Nathan and Joel, my great mates. I was having doubts about Taiwan....I wasn't going to Taipei, but the fourth largest city in the south part of the island.....just under 1 million people and the ancient capital...Tainan.......'Rubbish' was the only vocabulary I could relate to.

To be fair, the flight wasn't bad, I had beer, slept ok and laughed at a man farting next to me. He stank of shit and his wife was appalled....we exchanged uninteresting conversation and I pretended to sleep when I wasn't actually dozing for real. It was the longest flight Id ever been on and the immigration was over the top..Questions galore-'why are you visiting Taiwan?' etc etc...I have no idea was the thought that came to mind...All the people on immigration looked the same. Short, black hair, glasses, boring..I guess most Oriental (I was informed I couldn't use this word anymore..its racist according to politically correct boring people....ill only use it more often thanks to them kicking up a huge fuss....do you prefer 'yellow'? 'Asian'.....like 'white'..Its a bit vague....fuck off and die) men look like this...absolutely boring pricks most of them....zero personality..ZERO.hahah

Ill get down to the facts..............my boss met me in Tainan at the high speed rail station....just a boring version of the Japanese bullet train...shinkansen or however it is spelt....as soon as I saw him I thought 'no'.....surely not another little Asian business man.....short, black hair, glasses...no personality. I shook his hand-'hello'.............that’s all I got...no 'welcome to Taiwan', no 'how are you?'.........oh yes, he told me I look young and that I have a baby face...he said it negatively but I was ready for him-'you can exchange me if you want?' He didn't answer..It was 11pm at this point...Id been travelling for a day, Id had enough, I wanted to leave already....My thought about him was 'fucking cunt..a goober'.........His name for the record is Brian....ENGLISH NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Get your own!hahaha.....ill be asked here 'do you have a Chinese name?' I ignore this pathetic question....We ate some beef noodles, talked a bit, and then I spent the first week of my life in Tainan living with my boss, his wife called Belle (another English name) and his two kids...Bruce (another English name..Haha) who is 8 and Liz(ANOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...etc etc) who is 6......part of the family so to speak...hmm

(well actually, it wasn't Tainan where I was living and would be working..it was Yongkang city, 15 minutes north of Tainan.............and it is the worst place I have ever been too..And I've lived in Yongin in South Korea and spent a lot of time in Aston, England...it was worse than them.....polluted, grey, NO pubs...NOT one!!!! awful................scooters zipping around everywhere...............along with raving about Brian, ill rave about Yongkang too)

The first week was a bore..........humid weather.........no air to breathe......I visited the school which Brian said I was 'going to love'.........fuck off...........horrible 5 story building, grey in colour of course....expressionless teaching assistants were inside..They seem suppressed..Probably by Brian I thought. I met the teacher I'd be replacing, Graham from Scotland. I had hoped he be like my mate David who I worked with in Korea.......NO....Graham was bald with a beard, big glasses and no personality...he didn’t sound Scottish and he didn't like football....'what’s wrong with you?' I thought....he was one of those people that rambled on about how football hooliganism is worse than nuclear war or kids dying of poverty. Wake up you boring fucker. Actually, he wasn't so bad but far too polite and understanding of the obviously dull Taiwanese culture..I had already decided that I wouldn't be staying in this place for one year and I hadn't even begun work yet.....oh no, I thought to myself. But I wasn't worried; I knew Id escape from this school, this company (Shane English) and maybe even this whole country.....

All I wanted to do this first week, knowing that I wouldn't be working because I hadn't had my week of training yet, was to go and explore Tainan city, have a beer and see the temples, shrines and so called 'traditional' centre of Taiwan....I didn’t really get close. I observed classes despite knowing how to teach, I sat bored.......what is this place I thought as I noticed the security cameras in every classroom..Like fucking Alcatraz...rubbish people...watching grahams every move. I wouldn't be enjoying these cameras watching me...cant touch the children I thought..hahahahaha........No wonder Gary Glitter didn't come to Taiwan.

During the first week, Brian was very generous to be fair to him..I didn't have to stay in a hotel whilst he found me somewhere to stay and he paid for all my food......he did however bother me..He didn’t seem too clued up on anything....just interested in money really.....he suggested that I live with him permanently. he gleefully showed me that he'd had an air conditioning unit installed in the room where I was staying.......haha...'no chance Brian'....thank you but no no nooooooooooooooooooooooo. Id just end up bursting into his room during the night and dousing him and his whole family with a fire extinguisher!haha!!! That or bludgeoning them to death with my bare hands........I found them all annoying...ok but too much....the kids were dull as fuck...Liz was funny(ish) whereas Bruce was a fat little shit with a birthmark on his face...'its shaped like Taiwan' Brian told me proudly(there's two reasons to have it removed.....one, its a birthmark on the face...secondly, its shaped like an irrelevant county which nobody gives a shit about)...'he will keep it'....I'd chop his head off. They all slept in the same room...........weirdoes....a massive 5 story house too..........fucking weird. No TV, no internet......weird. His wife is an artist and Brian forbid her to paint after 10pm.............like the military really......I did laugh to myself. He took me to some bars in Tainan and Graham tagged along too. He'd been here a year and hadn't been out much....'you live in Yongkang and there's nothing to do....what do you do?' I asked him....'play computer games' he replied....my god I thought...have a beer. And so I did...some ok pubs, some ok people, nothing spectacular. Brian would talk to girls and bring them to me...Id cringe with embarrassment, as would they......I don’t want to meet girls in bars I thought to myself.....he took us to nightclubs and got pissed off when I wouldn't dance or talk with girls that he brought to me...Taiwanese girls seemed very forward.....some were pretty but I wasn't interested....I had no time for them..I wanted to be alone and explore the world......I’m 26, not 5...leave me alone you little cunt was what I wanted to aim towards Brian.....I just drank and got hammered and began to complain about these rubbish people surrounding me.....finally the week ended and I knew I had to go to Taipei for 5 days of 'how to be a teacher' by Shane English School........thrilling I thought.

This week was hilarious........it was a breath of fresh air to be away from Brian......as soon as he left me there in Taipei and returned to Tainan I felt the urge to misbehave appallingly....hopefully there would be someone who felt the same way attending the training too....I looked around the room and sat in silence as people filtered in...fat, thin, white, black, tall, short.........ALL bland looking......one girl from America exchanged words with me....she seems ok was my overriding opinion....no more no less. She turned out to be one of the better ones..She was also called Nikki.....her attitude was quite bad..Must run in the name....her, me, Nikki Sixx...............Anyway.....one guy caught my attention..we were sitting in opposite corners and he was one of the last to arrive, slouching in his chair as if he would rather be sitting in a volcano crater...'hi, my names Simon....that's it'..No real smile on his face, no enthusiasm, no joy, no interest.....he's cool I thought..finally a decent person....

Dave Roberts, head of Shane English in Taiwan, rambled on about the company...fuck off and die I thought....he was the first person I met at head office in Taipei and absolutely no welcome, no smile, no how are you? In fact, he looked angry-'go and sit in there' he told me and another oriental looking guy with a pony tail and a cheap looking shirt and tie......Jimmy Chuang was his name and I immediately didn't like his annoying accent..he's from California I found out which is strange because I really like the people there whenever I’ve been there before..........Dave Roberts...a Londoner.....dreadful person, shirt and tie(the Shane way...shirt and tie....fucking scrotums....) I immediately hated Shane English......what have I done? Ran through my head again and again. At the interview in London 3 months before I was told, Taiwan is great and Dave Roberts is an interesting character to have a beer with by the guy who interviewed me. There would be more chance of me breaking a beer bottle over his head was my conclusion on meeting him. IM SURROUNDED BY BORING RUBBISH ENTHUSIASTIC PEOPLE was my main concern. I ran out of the room at the first hint of a break...had a glass of water..Saw Simon standing there and introduced myself...'hello mate, this is fucking shit isn’t it?'...........he responded well, laughing and agreeing. We were inseparable from that point onwards, laughing at how rubbish people were, mocking their appearances and sniggering like 5 year old children at the trainers and instructors....I couldn't breathe, couldn't look at Simon across the room during that first day of training.......I wasn't 5, I was 26...fuck knows what the instructors thought.......they were cunts anyway, overly serious, talking as if teaching was the most important aspect of world society. Id always enjoyed teaching, but they were killing my fragile passion for it.........did I care? Not really. There were about 20 people on our training week and most seemed social outcasts who would be guillotined if this was late 18th century France........well, they would be if I had been in charge instead of Robespierre.

Beer and seeing Taipei, Taiwan's capital was my main aim....Simon and I decided to go out and get annihilated....he is from England and had been teaching in Vietnam so he also knew how to teach..It isn’t hard. If it was, I wouldn’t do it. We attempted to escape from the other trainees........they caught us...fucking bollocks I thought as we went with them to a night market, one of Taiwan’s most famous and popular things to do...haha.....god almighty.....it seemed savage, they sold everything from clothes to shoes to pets to food...I got Simon and I some beers from a shop and we just wandered around behind everyone else, moaning about everything, noticing attractive Taiwanese girls and getting increasingly drunk........everyone else seemed so wank....nothing interesting to say and I didn’t want to engage with them anyway...we were standing, wasting our free time with people who meant nothing.....we ate some bits of meat on a stick which were good and then ran off as some of the girls(and sadly for them, most of the boys too) from training entered a shoe shop......Simon and I were like soldiers, crouching down and sneaking away. Nobody saw us and we were free........haha..........'fucking rubbish people' was the most used statement coming from our mouths as we went in search of a pub, nipping back to the 'love hotel'(full of prostitutes) where Shane English were housing us and ripping a page that contained a map of Taipei from my guide book. Off we went..............beer was found and it was good to hang out with a decent guy who liked metal, had played in a band and hated most things....he'd arrived the same time as me and we compared our contrasting introductions to Taiwan-he lived in the middle in a town called Changhua, 2 hours north of me......we laughed about the people he'd met and vice versa.....we seemed to hate everything......

The training was wank.............'lets discuss the correct pronunciation of the letter 'J' was one hours worth of training. I was crying with laughter behind my hand as Simon tittered next to me...another guy Thomas, from Texas had joined our league of hatred..He wasn’t as funny as Simon but he was ok..He didn’t like anything either and simply mocked most of the training exercises..It quickly became apparent that everyone was surprised at our behaviour....they were so serious; they couldn’t believe what we were doing..rubbish.haha.....bland and inept....one Irish guy, even if he would go outside for a cigarette, would drench himself with sun tan cream.............why?whats wrong with you? Of course, we laughed at him. I remember one class where we had to tell everyone what our favourite thing about Taiwan was. Simon said 'girls' much to everyone else’s disgust........I said 'Simon'..........again, everyone looked appalled. We just sat and laughed.......lets put it into perspective...one man called Dane, an American guy....no hair, ginger beard, irritating and always asking needless questions answered the same question-'the police' was his choice.....other people said the dustbin lorries................I sank lower and lower into my chair dying of laughter.....It reached an overload when we were learning how to teach young children with pictures of animals...Simon was talking loudly to the class and I drew a huge penis on the picture of the horse and a smaller, yet equally graphic image on the rabbit.........I collapsed as did Simon........people looked genuinely startled at how we were behaving. We'd avoid conversation with them and people became worried about speaking during training. I pointed out that we were bullying an entire group of adults as most people were older than Simon and I.........One afternoon a trainer called Hamish came in to teach us...he was like ET...he had huge Nike shoes and a head the shape of a light bulb...once the latter fact had been pointed out to Simon, there was not a single moment of dryness in our eyes...my chest and face would hurt. There was a half cast girl who had really short tight curled hair.......vile....Simon called her a nigrod............hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......I said she looked like mr tumnus from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe'.........it was laugh after laugh...Every night we'd get drunk, come in feeling ill, sweating under the arm in the hot October sun....the Taiwanese food, besides beef noodles was vile....'sensational cuisine' it said in the guide book. Are you having a fucking laugh? Taiwanese people were supposed to be 'overwhelmingly friendly' also....both bullshit statements. The food looked and tasted like shite..Who eats lungs?who?savages..As for the people...boring boring boring...not unfriendly.....a little but who cares? They’re small and inept. They were better than the majority of Koreans but who isn’t?

I remember the Thursday....id had enough...a hangover and ranting about some guy called Tom or whatever his name was. He condemned Simon and I for killing a mosquito in a bar...he said he catches them in a glass and lets them go as they 'want to live and love too'..........oh my fucking god....shut up I told him...a rubbish person...I was so annoyed that I skipped my observations...we were supposed to observe other teacher and how they teach..I got paired with a boring fat girl called Ariel...no no I will not be spending 4 hours with you..I broke out of class...haha...asked to go toilet and ran off to Taipei 101....which is/was the tallest building in the world....I felt free for the first time in Taiwan...truly free, wandering around, taking photos, meeting weird Taiwanese people. One man rode his bike along side me and spoke some English before proclaiming that he 'liked looking at me'....then he sped of before I could dismember him with a chainsaw. Vile individual..no doubt some Taiwanese would be queuing up to eat the remains of this man............Taipei 101 was great...from the outside anyway, I couldn’t be bothered to go up it...it was a cooler day, with a breeze and I had a beer and sat on the street........Taipei seemed greener than Seoul in Korea..........but there were similarities....arrogant foreigners strolling along like King Midas and mind blowingly awful buildings..........square buildings for square heads....with square glasses and square penis'...........Taipei 101 is a different shape, its a different colour and is the best building I’ve seen in Taiwan, even to this day. On the subway back to our hotel area the train was pretty busy and I had to stand up and hold the pole. A woman holding the pole also just starred directly at me. We were only a few cm apart and I was cringing with embarrassment. I was holding a map with me and she took it from me and wrote her phone number-'Amy, call me'.......She smiled and no words were exchanged..She was very attractive which made the whole situation more surprising..Couldn’t she find anyone else? I had more interest in having a beer and still to this day have not dialled the number.

The night time in Taipei was kind of interesting. It takes a lot to satisfy me...On the Wednesday night, Simon and I headed to a place called 'Snake Alley'.....famous for its snakes-whether they were being skinned alive by savage Taiwanese people for savage foreign cunts, having their bile drunk by tourists or just slithering around wondering why they were in Taiwan, much like I was doing. The alley was appalling, made both of us feel sick and the sight of turtles having their stomachs slit open was enough for me. No pictures were allowed but none were needed to be taken. The whole set up made me angry and underlines again how oriental people simply do not know how to treat animals correctly. Fucking shit. Thursday night took us to a shit club, full of cunts and forward girls with beards......the most interesting thing about Thursday was seeing a girl with a guinea pig on a lead......she was told in no uncertain terms that she was indeed a savage also....with a hairy back. Friday was our last night and Simon and I planned to destroy Taipei somehow. I was 5 hours late for our last class but they were inept.....'Sorry I’m late was met with a mixture of sighs and sniggers. I'd merely sat in my hotel room watching pornography and drinking beer. We left the class not so long after my arrival and did a bit of sightseeing-some gates, arches, temples and up to the top of Taipei 101. Unfortunately, at the top were a lot of Korean tourists. I politely asked whether security would allow me to commit suicide and jump off the top of the skyscraper to escape the Koreans. To their credit, the Taiwanese understood the joke and laughed......but still wouldn’t let me jump. We ended up taking the elevator, crying with laughter at a woman who had a head the size of planet earth-it was huge. I took a picture of it in the lift with my flash on. Immature? Yes. The night time was saved for drinking. Thomas met Simon and I and we immediately began to get annihilated.....al of our co-teachers arrived at the bar and one by one, we all managed to escape them by leaving at different times, pretending we had phone calls to make.......we went to a club called club wax where you pay a fee to get in and drink as much as you like. It was packed and the drinks were fine. Thomas was up to his tricks, preying on unattractive girls and blistering them with compliments that they didn’t really deserve...not from a man with sight anyway....This club was where I actually met a decent girl...her name was pinky. I laughed..She became embarrassed. She tried to talk with me many times but I had nothing interesting to say to her. She was very pretty with shoulder length dark hair.....I had just lost interest in girls after the events of living in south Korea.....or should I say Asian girls...I shouldn’t tarnish them all with the same brush but all I wanted to do was drink with my mates...Simon had informed me that he needed to have sex and the only way he could get a girl was to dance-which he duly did with a girl from Hong Kong......it was hilarious, Simon taking the piss, dancing like a robot with aids...Thomas was fiddling around with pinkys mate and I was sat in an uneasy silence, despite the shite hip hope bullshit emanating from the speakers, with pinky.....Another girl appeared from nowhere and said to me 'would you care to dance?'...'No' I replied.....I took no joy from the sad look on her face...it must be shit to be rejected. I don’t like dancing...I like metal...Thomas jumped on me telling me to get all of the girls...no Thomas-its not my type of behaviour......They were lovely actually, both Pinky and the dancing girl.....The night came to an end, the Hong Kong girl had evaded Simon and me and him were getting annoyed with the world...

What did we do?

After we left the club, Simon threw a beer can at the Hong Kong girls head, we stole a fire extinguisher, sprayed it on Shane English headquarters..I then had a shit on the street and kicked it onto Shane headquarters before we returned to the hotel and exposed ourselves...the receptionist told us to behave with dignity but it didnt work. I sprayed an extinguisher in the hotel somewhere without being caught and after that our week was finished....it was an extremely enjoyable time. I simply had no interest in going back to Tainan to begin my year of teaching..Fuck this I thought. Simon and I wanted to live in the same town, teach in the same school but we couldn’t. I arrived back in Tainan, hung-over and was met by my boss who I really didn’t want to see. He took me to a bar in Tainan and again, something happened that, had it not, my time here would have been completely different.

In this bar, bored to death and a bit depressed that I wasn’t in Taipei, I was met with a bored smile of a tall guy wearing a hat. He looked how I felt. 'How you doing man?' he asked me......'Not bad' I replied.. We got on well immediately. It was a massive coincidence that he worked for Shane 40 minutes away from my town in another city. His name was Nate, 28 from California-he liked punk and metal and seemed uninterested, much like I was, In Tainan/Taiwan as a whole. We had a beer and exchanged email addresses. We talked of travelling around Taiwan and seeing the interesting parts of the island. A week later, I met up with Nate in his city-Sinying.....what an absolute shit hole....He'd been in Taiwan a month longer than I had, Id just finished my first week of work and neither of us had anything positive to say..Thankfully, he liked beer and we just drank and complained and talked about how shit things were. I felt a massive relief that Id met a good guy here...We made a plan to go to the east coast of Taiwan, take a train down south first to Kaohsiung, the second city of Taiwan and a train across the island to see the apparent scenic beauty. To be fair the teaching was ok, the kids were ok-they would copy everything I said in class, mimicking me to the point where I would die of laughter.........little fuckers. They were not as great as the Korean kids though and that made me miss the little Korean shits..........Taiwanese kids appeared robotic with little personality......My co workers were all good. Patrice was an older teacher who kept all the kids in line, whereas Shana, Wesi and Pita were all younger and willing to help me out with whatever I needed....Much to my annoyance, I immediately liked the secretary, Pita...a girl from Tainan City. She was 24 and seemed, like me, not to give a shit about our boss’s ridiculous desire for meetings. She was interesting to talk to, would buy me iced tea with beer in it and she was lovely....I didn’t want to like anyone in Taiwan because I already wanted to leave. I didn’t want to cause problems for people there....well, the good people anyway...getting back to meetings...my boss, he loved them. He was quite clearly a cunt and I couldn’t believe it.....why couldn’t I have a decent person as my boss instead of a small, boring, cunt with dark hair and glasses? Why did Oriental men look the same? Why?WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...cunts. I hate the little business man look. I would avoid him at all costs, only saying hello....he was just a dick. If I came in at 1pm and said good afternoon he would say 'good morning' to be awkward. I dealt with him by saying 'goodnight'...he didn’t like that.....'die you little shit' was hovering on my lips

The fourth week of being in Taiwan-id had enough......it was humid and uncomfortable. I had my own place but it was tiny....ok...built for students...but tiny...........I hated Yongkang. Mondays were ok as Pita, Wesi and I would go to the night market after work and eat weird foods and drink beer...I was fascinated by Pita but felt she didn’t feel the same way about me....Her and Wesi I liked a lot-good people who bought me weird food such as chickens feet and rice soaked in blood.....I ate chickens arse also...wonderful....Mostly I stuck with grilled meat on sticks and sushi.....I had argued with my boss about Pita.....I replied to a question he had asked me about which girls I thought were pretty..I said 'Pita' and he became a dick. I think this was the event which changed everything for our relationship. He told me it’s 'forbidden' to talk with her, date with her etc etc. Fuck you I thought. I argued back that Id talk to who I wanted to. From this point onwards he was a dick.....he tried to keep my passport and wouldn’t give it me back.....I kicked up a fuss and he slammed it on my desk. I laughed. He told me I couldn’t have the air conditioning lower than 25 degrees despite the kids being hot and me sweating under the arm like a fucking madman.....He tried to mess up my wages, deducting money for things id already paid for, saying id lived for free in his house. I pointed out that 'ok Brian, you can deduct that, but I want the 1245 Taiwanese dollars (about 24 British pounds) which I had paid for a few dinners for him since Id arrived. I could tell he hated that I was smart enough to combat his sly behaviour but fuck it, I wouldn’t be beaten by a little shit. The icing on the cake was one night after work. I was walking home and Pita was driving past me on her scooter. She stopped and we talked about Brian and how he had told her it was forbidden for her to talk to me...what a cunt I thought. He's probably told her I’m chasing after her or something. Yes, I did like her but I was happy to meet a good person and have a beer now and again .There were no people for me to do that with in Yongkang, Nate was an hour away and realistically, we could only see each other on our weekend adventures across the island.......As Pita and I were talking on the side of the road, a car, similar looking to Brian’s drove slowly past us......and again 3 minutes later, and again 5 minutes after that, and again and again.....it was funny yet weird..I waved at the car and it drove off quickly..WHAT A CUNT. Pita was a little scared and for 2 days after, he wouldn’t speak to either of us at work. Immature and in line to be destroyed before I quit was my main thought............After this I hated working for him and his shit school. The kids bored me, my passion for teaching squashed..............Something good had to happen quickly was all I kept thinking.....................thankfully it did...a few things did......

These things will be discussed in the next email..Along with ridiculous trips and behaviour across Taiwan

which wont be as long coming

I apologise for the massive delay in writing-I’m only just getting my enthusiasm back for writing/life in general.
Taiwan has been a bit of a disappointment but people such as Simon, Nate and Pita have made it memorable at the same time

I hope you’re well Jia and that you write back soon and let me know what you’ve been up to...I would like to have obscene stories please:)
Ill be heading back to England, some time after the summer-September at the latest so hope to see you then for a beer!

Take care Jia jia jia
i miss you dearly
All the best
An uninteresting person living in Taiwan

-----------------------------------------------------我是分割线-------------------------------------------------

走几个小片儿 等了半天 有点闲不住了 开始胡闹起来 哎 什么时候能稳重点 坐在梁上 走几个片儿吧

销售小哥也是很无奈啊 毕竟我是花费万元的上帝啊 偶很能理解 特别是做了淘宝以后 哎 都不容易

去验车用了一整天 我真的是快累死了 但是开自己的车就是痛快 1。3开到100我就已经很满足了 但是还有上升空间

大家对我开车的态度都很担忧 完全一个混不吝么 北京特色都暴露在超车 并线上了 真是对不起啦~偶是真的没那个耐心 也补甘心被超过啦

 

 

最近太丧！！！都你妈给我退散！！！

生活中充满了惊喜  也充满了恶心 OASIS北京上海站都取消了 这事儿还真不是我能评论的 作为甚早就买好票的人来说 只能说你们丫让我惦记了这么久的心 彻底破碎了 MLGBD！！！1600退票吧 本周末肉丸随小橄榄天团将南下前往上海于7日晚在LOGO进行演出 大家关注 我只有留守家中 乖乖等着回来 上周已经定下了买车的事情 这周开始具体操作 关于存折密码的问题 我真是无语了 密码竟然忘记了 欧滴神啊 上周末除了几个让人厌恶的传递事件外 总体还是很满意的 你们丫以为自己都是神啊 真难伺候 我脾气是不是太好了 淡定... ... CUZI夫妇携可爱龙凤胎TOM ANNA将于下周一落地北京 自从上次伊朗会议就一直保持联系的匈牙利女瓷 还有就是她儿子太尖了 TOM长大后必将是一枚花样男  行程在北京停留一周 计划和肉丸带这东欧一家人走几个北京特色 火锅是不可少的 然后就是女人热爱的SHOPPING 来几个片儿 预告一下 对了 差点忘记了 祝贺OLIVER获得MAO颁发的08年最佳新乐队奖 对了 你们说我拍片的角度好不好吧 乐队照记得标我名字！！！还有STEELY HEART还真是首次拍 赛总太有样了～

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－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－欧是分割线－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

TOM & ANNA 一对龙凤胎兄妹 呵呵 太可爱啦

TOM & ZUZI TOM果然是个美型男坯子 我已经是排在队尾的申请人啦 TOOOOOOM

 

就是这个啦 但爸爸说黑色太显脏 所以拿到手里的应该是白色 或者 蓝色 我投白色一票～

肉丸说 绝对不能是银色 家里已经两个银色的啦～不能再来第三个！

STEELY HEART的赛总 你那角度拍着刚刚好 来几个16：9的横条儿～三个效果 三个光鸟

 

OLIVER 小橄榄天团之BASS山寨版美国海军陆战队肉丸同学＋眼镜版LIFU 你们说我的角度好不好 肉丸的脸都尖啦

肉丸的上海之行充满诱惑 梦回上海到底是什么东西 勿活以嗖系WBD

1年多没见过面 你是不是变化也太大了呢 大变身 大变身 为你高为你愁啊～你个懒 我还是那样 你可短短几个月变了样子 呼呼

 

 

 

周六跟甘哥一姐 闫帅夫妇 一起走了个羊汤 饭后兴起 过起了成都式的棋牌生活 ROCK STAR打麻将 真是那妙的 太有样儿了 下面上片儿

你见过酒桌上的他们 舞台上的他们 胡同里的他们 这样的他们可不是那么频繁的出现的 都是一把好手儿

甘哥抓了两圈后的牌 快听了 但是最后还是没胡

闫二儿在考虑如何整理手中的那13张 考虑啊 思索啊 还有 李肉丸同学 原来你也是个麻将爱好者

小川的拍 听的漂亮 但是他是唯一输钱的人 没有道理啊

一姐在后面指挥 部署抢钱大作战 甘哥压力也是很大啊 闫式在大家娱乐的时候 投身艰苦的时尚工作中 如此繁冗的工作 还不忘记SHOW出左脸

4圈之后的战绩是闫二儿大胜 李手电负担了台面上的赌资 肉丸 甘哥不输不赢 而后进行杀人游戏 惩罚往身上画东西

闫二儿虽然在麻将竞技中大胜 但在杀人游戏中得到了一条割线 打雾基本一体的画臂 尼扣同学的图案集合大家之力比较尴尬 肉丸同学则是变成了日本鱼市大叔

偶也是比较尴尬的得到了一些小图图 李手电胳膊也画的可以 相对比较OK的是ABE KAN夫妇 还能看的过去 下面部分成果展示 剩余照片等吴闫氏

2.14感谢肉丸同学快递到公司的巧克力 大家吃的灰常开心 下面是肉丸的巧克力 很可爱欧 动物形状的巧克力 好可爱 好可爱

肉丸和礼物的合影 然后是小动物的合影 集体照

情人节阴天还刮风 但是还是和肉丸走了一天 逛了宠物市场 好可爱的狗狗 o(∩_∩)o

肉丸 好像狗狗啊 摸摸头 快 握手 握手 那个黑色的鸟 好厉害 会说话啊

好多可爱的狗狗 好像都带回家啊 汪汪

传说中的黑色二人组 肉丸和JIA 我们穿胡同~

还有几个老片儿 忘记了是什么时候拍的了 还不错 呵呵

 

 

 

 

假期就是在吃吃喝喝 睡睡看看中渡过的 我的假期有10天哦 早放一天 晚上一天 呵呵 真是不错 对了 我记录一下这几天的行程吧 和肉丸像赶场一样先是中午冲到了姥姥家吃饭 吃完后又冲到奶奶家 档期好满啊 隔一天和肉丸逛街 看来个体老板也要放假回家过节 很冷清啊 都放着卷帘门 回家路上好累 但是马上又和阿姨叔叔一起去吃泰国菜 泰宫 就在鲁宾家附近 里面倒是真看到了人妖 但是感觉是男扮女装 但是菜真的是不错 各种调味料都很给力 甜甜 酸酸 辣辣 呛呛 真是SPICY啊 好想去泰国啊 但是我要和肉丸一起去 要不我不去！回家的路上好累啊 那个调料可厉害了 四种拼在一起 甜酸 沙爹 咖喱 香辣 好多味道啊~偶稀饭

第二天和肉丸在交道口一代买到了成都BON BON CHICKEN 久违了成都口水鸡 说实话 看到的第一家落户北京的棒棒鸡 赞

当天走在张自忠路上 吃着各种的卷帘门闭门羹 但是我们还是没有停下来自娱自乐 手机拍摄的强光曝光下的你我和家里拍的

强烈阳光下VS家里柔光灯 你说哪个比较好呢

在家里走了一个装嫩 还走了一个小燕飞 燕式平衡 晃动明显 虚了

今天一高兴决定给肉丸做个饭 鸡腿饭 真是累死我了 从买原料到洗菜 切菜 还要蒸 也要焯 最后的奶油浓汤没有留存照片 但是非常成功的大虾洋葱西红柿奶油浓汤

注意都是原料哦 没有用什么方便原料 非常不错 有机会做给大家吃 目前只有西城西内大街30号北楼3层的各位兄弟品尝过 下次办试吃会 欢迎做客

但是做了这次饭 我是深刻体会到辛苦 这个累啊 腰都直不起来了么 整整刷了一池子盘子 这个累 下次做饭是什么时候呢 看心情咯

吃美了 喝好了 饭汤都吃满足了 坐着看电视的同时 自己做了个美甲 那种右手画左手 左手画右手的个人行为

本来计划画个德国国旗 但是非常SORRY的把三个颜色弄错了位置 哎 有愧于自己的工作 我还得多学习啊